First Post/Friendship

Soooooo this is my first post....
So I was in the bathroom (where all good ideas occur) when I decided I should start keeping a diary, then I figured the likelyness of this happening was slim to none, but if I made it electronic I would be more likely to do so! Soooo here it is! (I just realized I say so a lot)

I guess my first post should be about how I've been feeling for the past couple of days.
Today, I took a walk down to the lake outside the Concert Hall to just think about things, and after a conversation with my mom for a while, I sat for like five-ten minutes just thinking about everything. There's one thing that's been perpetually on my mind, and thats friendship. What is friendship? I would define it as the relationship between two people who enjoy each others company, are there for each other, and share a level of trust. There's a couple of people in my life that I've recently become distant with or have completely lost contact with and that makes me really upset. I've pondered what good friends these people were to me in the past and how these reactions represent our relationship. For example, one person was upset with something I had done, but this action shouldn't have been a surprise. Now, I haven't spoken with this person in over two months (I believe) and didn't see them during this time either, whether it be alone or in a group. This feels like forever because this person was a good friend and a close confidant. It amazes me how such a trivial thing that shouldn't come as a surprise could ruin such a long lasted (since fourth grade) and great friendship. Especially since this person told me that they weren't mad. Another example is a close friend I've become distant with over the course of many months. There's a number of reasons I think this is occuring, reasons of which I don't feel like getting into but are along the nature of rediculousness. These are two friends I miss very dearly and just an example of what not to do as a friend.

Another problem on the friend front is the feeling of people getting bored with me. I find that this happens to me more often than I believe it should, and this bothers me. What happens is I'll meet someone new and talk to them all the time for a long time and then they'll just stop talking to me. I don't understand why this happens and it hurts me a lot. It's pretty easy to gain my trust and I fall very easily, so when this happens I get frustrated and confused and I start to feel less worthy and down on myself. I often find myself wondering why this has happened or what I did that could have driven the person away. I usually find out it wasn't me but find it hard to believe, regardless. I've been hurt many times and very badly because of this happening and I'm sick and tired of it.

One thing I value very much is the being of my best friend/brain buddy/ Wondertwin #2, Stephanie. You'll probably hear about her a lot. She's helped me through many things and we're always there for each other. This is a friendship that I know I will have forever and if I ever have 0 friends, I'll always have her to talk to and hang out with. This is the best kind of friendship there is. :)

I'd love to keep talking about my feelings but these are the biggies on my mind right now and I've got to go watch the Mason vs. ODU game on Comcast with my friends and hum pep band tunes because we're not there right now as a pep band and that makes us sad :(

Until next time, here's a random thing for you to ponder: ‽ INTERROBANG!